Friday, September 21, 2012

God Talking

Here's a disclaimer to begin my post: the final outcome of anything I'm writing about isn't yet known.  We're still busy waiting on God's just right timing to see how He'll unfold all these possibilities.  But a lot has unfolded lately.  

Two weeks ago, a prospective buyer came to see our house.  My prayer then was, "Father, whatever the outcome, please make this 'yes' or 'no' very clear very quickly, because I don't want to get my hopes up for weeks and have them dashed again."  (That's one of my specialties.)  So we waited 'til the other end of the weekend and got news back from our realtor: they loved everything about the house...except the bedrooms are too small.  Deal breaker.  So I cried a little and then brightened up, because I realized God absolutely answered my prayer.  I had no more than three days to plot out our future.  Thanks for taking care of my heart, Father.  

This week, on Tuesday, a knock on the front door interrupted our dinner.  Out of the blue, out of nowhere, the man on the other side of the door was interested in bringing his girlfriend up the next evening to see the house.  She and her two kids need somewhere to stay for a few months, then he'd plan to rent it out.  So they came, and they liked.  On Wednesday, he made a low-ball offer.  Nope, sorry, I said.  On Thursday he made a higher, but still too-low offer.  Andy messaged him back today with our counter and the offer of moving out in two weeks if we strike an agreeable deal.  The ball is in his court now!

Because of these open negotiations, and because our prospective buyer wants his girlfriend to be able to move in as soon as possible, we decided we ought to go see a house over in Lyons Falls that we've been very interested in seeing but haven't been very hurried about (remember my hopes-up syndrome?).  So, unexpectedly, it worked to go see it last night.  And we love it.  It's a beautiful little colonial that needs a few projects done on it--a very suitable compromise of a house for my fixer-upper loving hubby, and me, who wants to move right in to a house full of good character.  

Also unexpectedly, it has worked out that my father-in-law can come down tomorrow morning to see this house again with us and our also-available realtor. 

But this is actually all back story.  The main point of writing was to describe for you what happened yesterday in between receiving a still-low offer and arranging to see the red house: I heard the voice of God.  This is a big deal to me, because though I have certainly felt God's peace, God's blessing, God's answers to prayer, I have never been the person that can ask God a question and just have Him answer back.  "Conversational" has never described my prayer life.  Now, you might be thinking something along the lines of "Get a grip, Lydia," or "Time for a reality check," or just plain "You are going too far with this whole faith thing."  

But here's the deal.  When I received the second offer, my stomach was all in a dither over what to do.  My heart said that offer was too low and we needed to say 'no,' but my head just tried so hard to find a way to justify accepting it, mostly focusing on what a terrible sellers' climate we're in and that our house is only worth this only, first-ever offer.  And I didn't know how to pray about it, because I've given this situation over to God many times.  And I was not at peace, trying to either settle for a low-ball offer or settle for staying put in our little home for another indefinite amount of time.  And THEN!  Suddenly, not fitting in with my train of thought, came Proverbs 3: 5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and LEAN NOT on your own understanding.  In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." 

And that, folks, was the voice of God speaking to me in direct answer to my dithering heart.  Because what else is the Word of God but His voice spoken to us by the Spirit in due season, in the perfect moment?  So whatever the outcome--if we strike a deal and I need to pack up this house in two weeks and live in a room with friends for a few more weeks while we finalize the purchase of our new home...if our current negotiations fall through and it feels like we're back to square one...if something entirely different unfolds--I will trust in my Lord with all my heart, because that is what He's told me to do.