But It's OK

Sometimes I wonder why I should bother to write things to you, because it's all been said already.  Why would the world need another post encouraging mamas, or giving tips to be better organized, or reminding you that thankfulness makes a difference, or sharing my own children's moments or the views out my window?  There's so much of it already, it's overwhelming!  

But we forget, don't we?  So, so quickly, we forget to be mindful of a larger perspective than our day is dictating to us.  

And who am I to assume that you have found the same wonderful encouragement that I have today?  After all, overwhelming tasks are often avoided, even the good ones.  

And if I don't share pieces of my life with you, what's the point?  We are wired for relationship.  I need you, and you need me.  We fulfill and satisfy heart-needs in each other when we share life.  

Anyway, sitting here to put thoughts into words organizes my brain, and allows me to think more deeply, to form more fully the thoughts "on my mind" but not especially rooted in my soul.  And these thoughts, they need deeper roots.  They need to bear fruit in me, and by sitting down to write I allow the Holy Spirit to cultivate my Soil more intentionally.  

You may think I'm wonderful about perspective things.  I know this to be probably true because I think it about some of the wonderful people I know, and feel bad inside about my frequent failures in comparison.  

But I want to let you know: I'm messy too.  A Lot Of The Time I feel like I'm not good enough.  And usually dwelling on that goes ahead and makes me grumpy, so that even the good I've done in a day is spoiled by my grumping around.  

I KNOW it's hard to pare down, I KNOW there's a lot on the plate, and I KNOW just how many options there are for how to use a day, an hour, a few minutes.  

I am determined to learn and grow and change, with at least a vague notion of what my life would be if I could only...(praypassionately, putthefooddown, exerciseconsistently, affordamonthlymassage, studyscripturedeeply, writeachildren'sbook, writeathousandthankyounotes, becheerfulwithmyfamily, forgiveforever, washthedishes, putthelaundryaway, haveboundlessmercyandgrace, pulltheweeds, speakmyheart, etc).  

But it's ok.  

I am learning.  I am growing.  I am changing.  

Little acorns from oak trees grow.  

Learn to love what must be done.  

Choose the right next thing.  

So I write.