Paradox

On March 31, I realized that I had written twice in January, thrice in February, four times in March...and I thought, "Wow! Wouldn't it be awesome if I continued that pattern all the way through December, so that by then I'd be writing basically every other day?!"  

And then I never wrote again.  C'est la vie.

I have been mentally struggling with a lot of paradoxes lately.  Things like:

I am an adult, but I feel like a child.

I am young, but I feel the aging happening.

I love quiet, but am surrounded by noise.

I want to live slowly, but I have to live hurriedly.  

I want to pare down our possessions, but we're always acquiring.

I can't help but dive into projects, but am overwhelmed by what's on my plate.

I need to be more healthy, but what's another day of bad food choices?

I desire to be content and joyful, but usually I am wanting and grumpy.  

Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.

This is an awful lot of "I" statements.  We can get into a lot of trouble with "I" statements.  There is nothing inherently wrong with my feeling all these things and more.  But what I choose to dwell on shapes me, and then shapes the people around me.  So yes, Lydia, go ahead and look in, take stock, process.  Then look out at the people around me (especially the little ones that are daily affected by me).  And look up.  All paradoxes have their answer in Him that is equally engaged with the stars and our cells.

"And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."  Philippians 1:6