Sigh.
In the language of Anne Shirley (of Green Gables fame), a "Jonah Day" refers to a generally bad day, where everything just seems to be going against you. Those of you who are Biblically literate can see the connection: you know, just a guy trying to mind his own (selfish) business and then interrupted with an unsavory task, which he ran away from, which led to a horrendous storm-tossed sail, which led to his being thrown overboard and swallowed by a giant fish, his sitting in its belly for a long time, then being thrown up on a strange beach, bringing him back to follow through on the unsavory task after all.
Today seems to be shaping up into a Jonah day for me. I'm going to complain for a bit here, under the guise of looking forward to heaven. Because, you know, in heaven there will actually be no more sorrow, no more suffering, no more injustice, no more selfishness, no more regret. That is so hard to even begin to fathom for me.
It means, for example, that my right hand, which already begins to feel arthritic, will never ache or suffer from split knuckles in the cold again. My neck and back, perpetually cricked and tense (especially during the cold, scrunched-up season), will be able to somersault and dance and probably even turn like an owl without the least complaint. I'll never have to keep up the personal chores I do for the sake of being my most beautiful. (Actually, I haven't kept up with those for years now, so it will be unthinkably wonderful to just be, just BE beautiful, nothing doing.)
There will be no poop in heaven. No poop of any creature, at all, for me to face. Hallelujah.
I can sing all I want and not have anybody tell me to stop, that it's too loud. Dishes. No more dishes. I have a feeling that being creative will always be a joy, and never a burden or a frustration. There will not be cranky toddlers beating on my back begging for my attention while I focus on something else. For that matter, it seems likely that I'll be able to devote my full attention either to as many things as desired all at once, or else there will be the opportunity to focus entirely on one thing at a time, fully and completely, for always. I will not crash into things from clumsiness anymore, and there will be no ingredients-flung-about disasters while cooking. There will never be heartache or loneliness, and I will never Not Understand again--myself, others, my wonderful, mysterious Father God. I can learn every secret I've ever wondered--and more--about how this incredible creation works. All the dots will be connected.
I have sometimes wondered how eternal life, the whole system, will be able to function without what we know as Decay. Because in our system, our broken, beautiful world, everything kind of functions based on the cycle of life and death, Decay. I can't imagine something different, because that's just how it Is. But you know what? I absolutely trust that Elohim, the Creator of the universe, is fully capable of a perfect, Perfect system in heaven, which allows for all things without death.
I am smiling & praying for you.... your words are a replica of my own thoughts at one time.... but then my kiddos, one by one began leaving the house to attend school until I'm all by my lonesome & sometimes having that little bit of poop around would bring back such a flood of mommy feelings again. You are a strong Mama! Just smile and know we are just visiting, someday we will be at home in heaven. Enjoy the moments here while you can. Holding you up in prayer my friend! Have a cup of tea & smile with a deep breathe & then listen to Big Daddy Weave - I am Redeemed! Blessings, Pam
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pam! Another one I love is Steven Curtis Chapman's "Do Everything"--"to bring a smile to His face, tell the story of grace..." The kiddos were not even being very challenging this morning. It was just one of those mornings in my head that colors the rest of the atmosphere. And yes, tea is wonderful!
ReplyDeleteThis really helped me, Lydia. I especially love your perception that we can be crative in the afterlife. I never thought of that!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad! We're made in the image of God, and we are creative beings because of that imprint. Beautiful, isn't it?!
DeleteI enjoyed this post, Lydia. It's hard to fathom a perfect place. At times, it almost seems scary to try to wrap my head around such a place, because there are joys to be had here on earth. But more than anything, I won't miss the injustice I see in everyday living here on earth in that city foursquare.
ReplyDeleteIt's true, life is beautiful. But there are SO many things that hurt our hearts...and so many things that ought to hurt our hearts and we don't quite realize it because we're just so used to it. There's a description in C.S. Lewis's "The Magician's Nephew" of Digory and Aslan together. Digory has just asked Aslan if there's anything Aslan can give D's mother to make her well, and A doesn't reply directly about it, because there's a different issue at hand. But Aslan's eyes are filled with "great, shining tears" because he knows Digory's heartbreak--and as Digory struggles with the task Aslan sent him on, he doubts Aslan's goodness. Until he remembers Aslan's tears for his mother, so much greater even than his own. Then he's sure that even though he doesn't understand Aslan, doing exactly what Aslan asks of him is the only real Answer.
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